February 2, 2005

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

Guten Morgen! Shall we begin with today's CNN QUICKVOTE?

*** Is Bill Clinton a good choice to head the U.N.'s tsunami reconstruction efforts? ***

Yes - It's about time we retire Jimmy Carter as the ex-president-humanitarian champion.

No - Although his "Blow-jobs for food" program has serious promise for the relief effort.

Undecided - Does it really matter who does it? Who cares.

Officials are suspicious that some babies that a rabbi performed circumcisions on got herpes and even one of them died. Now in this day and age of the year 2005, we are still cutting off and mutilating perfectly healthy tissue from human males in certain traditional barbaric fashion. Not one shred of scientific or sanitary proof exists that makes this a logical thing to do to a baby or child. Personally, I've got no choice at this point in life as my foreskin is long gone. Maybe I should be thankful that I don't remember the horrors of the blade slicing through my wing-dang-doodle, blood sprouting out, and a shrieking cry from the pain. Should I sue the old parental units for this atrocious act? There were bundles of nerve endings in that skin that would have caused unique feelings and sensations that I will NEVER EVER know or experience, thanks to my parents. What is the price of the mental trauma of missing foreskin on the human psyche? All I know is that babies have rights now to not be aborted after a certain phase of pregnancy, yet have no rights to keep their weenie intact! It's not right, it never was right, and it never will be right. Nature had genetically encoded me and ALL MALES to have it, so all of you parents out there, do your sons a favor and LEAVE THE FUCKING FORESKIN ALONE!

Check these links: 1 2 3 4 5

A woman lost her father and spouse in the Iraqi conflict. If she'd have killed herself, I suppose that'd have been 3 meaningless deaths. I wonder if she's happy about the Iraqi elections. How much solace can you take in that some strangers across the globe had a mock election and that's pretty much all that those soldier deaths accounted for. No WMDs, no US threat, no harbored terrorist, no reason for any of it.

OK, enough of the world's problems, I notice that I never talk about myself. So let me just offer this fireside chat if you will. The new Green Day CD (American Idiot) kicks ass for one. I listened to it at work yesterday and actually got some work done. I am probably only slightly more productive listening to my Alice In Chains - Dirt CD, but least productive listening to the radio. I've started seeing someone new, and the other day we went to Wal-Mart (I hate Wal-Mart, not because it's a conglomerate, but because of the trailer trashy employees and customers that they attract - I think being a conglomerate is perfectly justified as it's the PEOPLE who make Wal-Mart and Microsoft the giants that they are, so they deserve it.)... anyway, we went to Wal-Mart to get a puzzle. They had all kinds and in different sizes and pieces. from 10 to 50 to over a thousand piece puzzles. We looked at the 2500 piece, but it's a little early in our relationship and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that kind of commitment so we opted for the 500 piece instead.

Have you ever seen Elimidate? It comes on late at night and usually shows 4 girls going on a date with 1 guy, and they do different events like eating, dancing, etc. After each event, a girl gets cut. It seems that the show usually has the good wholesome girls getting cut first. Girls, if youíre ever on Elimidate, show your nipples before the first commercial break and youíre a shoe-in to be a finalist. The guys on the show that claim to want one, believe that a long-term relationship is one that last beyond the continental breakfast. Virgins get cut. Animal lovers get cut. Religious types get cut. But slutty, unintelligent, and unstable girls donít. Now girls get catty the whole time, which is expected because they just canít help themselves. In one episode Iíve seen, the guy was down to the last two girls in a hot tub. After shaking their asses and flaunting their bodies on the guy, one girl starts making out with him, then the other girl, not to be outdone, does the same thing. At this point, it always seems that if the cameras werenít present, a mťnage a trois would occur. But then the second girl calls the first one a floozy slutbag. And of course, the first girl lashes out how the second one was a ho. The guy chooses girl #2, then tells her that he picked her because she was so classy. What I like and get out of the show is its realism. Iíve always said that Jerry Springer would kick ass if it were real. OK.. back to the fun-pics!

A French Quarter (Bourbon Street included) balcony can get quite packed just as the streets do during Mardi Gras or even anytime of the year really. Chances are, you'll catch some extra body parts showing on just about any of them.

Posted by Reese at February 2, 2005 8:16 AM