February 24, 2005

"Comedy is a lost art, now tragedy, that's funny!"

Fear not, Spicolli.. I'm here and hope that my new post will ease tensions that I've been dead or missing. So what's going on y'all? Hmmmm....

HOLY ROLLER COASTER BATMAN! The Pope is back in the hospital again with a recurring flu. God is TRYING to take him, but he refuses to budge! What a stubborn old coot! Is this a backwards smite at the almighty? What gives? I say that he is a coward! If Heaven obviously awaits, then I'd give in, hurry up, and cough up my lungs to death and meet ole St. Peter for a handshake and a smile as I enter the realm of perfection. To Hell with this dump I say! Can I get an Amen?

In brief, what kind of world would the Pope be leaving behind? I'll tell you this much, it ain't Eden! In Texas, a couple sexually assaulted their 7 month old! I'm glad I don't have weird fucked up fetishes like that. Also, on a side note, I have no foot fetishes either, just in case you were wondering. A suicide bomber kills 16 Iraqi policeman! Yawn! Is it deja vu or does this story seem to resurface weekly? Worlds Greatest Dad (TM) kills two of his kids and then himself! Just remember kids, even YOUR daddy can snap at any moment as well! Oh, and eat your broccoli!

In New England, a school named Governor Dummer Academy, established 1763, has changed it's name nearly 250 years later, because of jokes about it's name. All I have to say, is that if the education was so darn good at this particular school, then the students would know the difference between "dummer" and "dumber". But alas, for a school that used to be "dummer", now it's just plain dumb. And what about the utter disrespect to the late Governor William Dummer, who was obviously historically significant to have a school named after him. So now, taxpayers will waste money on changing school name signs and such instead of just educating the students (and public) about the origins of the name. So why did I write about this lame shit? I dunno. Guess it's a slow gripe day for moi.

Now for a picture that paints a thousand words:
"Come on baby, give ole dubya some tongue.. lawalalawala!"

Celebrity Spotting of the Day: I was parking in the parking lot here (at work in old Metairie, La.) and saw John Goodman getting out of his car in the parking lot. Just last night I said, while watching Futurama, that he did the voice of Santa in the X-Mas episode we were watching. And the other day, I was telling her that I recognized his voice in The Simpsons' episode "Take my wife - sleaze" when Marge is kidnapped by a biker gang. (Henry Winkler and Jay North also had cameo voices in it.) Seems like he's all over the tube sometimes. He married a Chalmette woman I believe and fell in love with New Orleans (not necessarily in that order). I'm from Chalmette! His first TV appearance was for a Burger King commercial. Why MY first job in high school was with Burger King! And we're both Gemini's! Man do we have so much in common, eh? So do I consider him a worthy celeb? Yeah, he's cool and entertaining for sure. Anyone who does Simpsons AND Futurama voice work is alright in my book! Two damn fine, well-written shows. Why can't all of the idiot box be like that?

On a side note, my brother said he worked on Bubby Brister's (former Pittsburgh Steeler's Quarterback) PC a couple of months ago. So how many starting Steeler's QB's have come from Louisiana? Terry Bradshaw, Bubby Brister, Tommy Maddox, and Kordell Stewart. What current NFL Quarterbacks are from Louisiana? Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Patrick Ramsey, Jake Delhomme, Kordell Stewart, Tommy Maddox, and Craig Nall. Steve McNair and Brett Favre are oh-so-close being from Mississippi. You're thinking: "So what's with the NFL update, Reese?" Well, being from here, I have to scrounge up some sort of home state pride, right?

P.S. My grandmother told me a story yesterday about a doctor who died while performing surgery. Can you imagine the look on the patient's face when he wakes up and sees a bunch of nurses standing around and one of them tells him, "I don't know how to tell you this, Mr. Schwartz, but... your doctor...he didn't make it."

Posted by Reese at February 24, 2005 8:34 AM

I think in 250 years they'll be changing the schools named after George W. Bush to something else because of the jokes. Him and Rick Santorum. Speaking of the current Govna' Dumber, looking at that picture makes me think, "mmmmm, second term scandal.

I laughed out loud about the brocolli, but when I tried to explain it people thought I was sick.

Re: a surgeon dying during the surgery: I've heard of people finding medical instruments sewn into them, imagine finding doctor Schwartz in your abdomen after having your appendix taken out.

Posted by: Brian at February 24, 2005 10:54 AM