March 1, 2005

Spicolli Prepares

Since I read about that pregnant man I must have pissed on a box full of EPT™ sticks before finding out it was a hoax.

Ah well what have I got to say.

It looks like Reese might be brought in to work with me. I'm told that he will delegate to me a lot of work. All I can say is that after six months of delegating to Reese's sister, I'm looking forward to a lot of R&R. Reese's sister raises absenteeism to an art form. Despite being scheduled for only Monday, Wednesday and Friday the lure of more time off is just too strong. Sickness, spark plugs, ignition, fuel pumps, flat tires, dog checkups, priest consults, class scheduling, class dropping, the AM/PM on the alarm clock, the volume on the alarm clock, wake one vs. wake two -- to date nearly the full compendium of waylaying circumstances.

I hate to tip my hand to Reese, but I've been working on some variations of my own:

  • The bus broke down.
  • ... I suspect beer poisoning
  • My eyes seem to be clearing up and I don't want to risk coming in.
  • I've got nagging morning wood that won't let me put on my pants.
  • Last night I practiced for a tornado and got lost looking for a basement.
  • I'm crippled by contemplating not only because my life will not make a difference, Man will be extinct one day, the Sun will burn out and the universe will expand into cold nothingness but also because I still haven't gotten out of Shoreside Vale on Grand Theft Auto III.
  • Last night's pick-up has me tied up.... literally.
  • I know it sounds like an internet hoax, but (fill in the blanks)

DISCLAIMER This is comedy. This post is not an expression of anger.

Posted by Spicolli' at March 1, 2005 4:32 PM
Comments

Well done, Spicolli... well done!

Posted by: Reese at March 2, 2005 8:06 AM