March 26, 2005

Miss Manners Finally Published My Letter

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Dear Miss Manners: I have a special friend who I hook up with sometimes who always climaxes before I do, then we start talking without letting me climax. I'm not sure how to point out this situation. I thought that maybe I should just politely ask if we could just make out while I jack off. What do you think?

Gentle Reader: I can tell by the fact that you said 'climax' instead of 'cum' that you're a total wuss. If he hasn't noticed that you didn't cum by now he clearly has picked up on this wussiness and doesn't respect you. In that dynamic anything you ask will sound like pathetic begging. The key is to keep the flow of the lovemaking going, while getting what you want and trying to re-establish something like parity. My suggestion would be to flip over start kissing and say something insouciant like "bitch, I know you aren't just going to leave me here with blue balls." That way everyone seems happy.

Boy I could have used that advice on Friday.

Posted by Spicolli' at March 26, 2005 6:50 PM