April 1, 2005

Judge Orders Feeding Tube Removed from Schiavo News Coverage Media!

APRIL FOOL!!! Hehe.. I wish! And while we're removing tubes, let's just let the individual that you call "The Pope" die already! Stop being hypocrites! If God is trying to reel his ass into Heaven, why do you lowly mortals keep trying to smite the Almighty's attempts? If I were Catholic, I'd think that you all are going to HELL! You guys remind me of the caring and loving individuals with the "PRO-LIFE" bumper sticker on their cars.. who just so happen to be the same cold blooded killers that bomb abortion clinics. "CHOOSE LIFE, KILL A DOCTOR!" is their battle hymn! And no, I don't bitch like this in the hopes that I will, in some seriously small way, improve the world.. it's self therapy in that I need to let out my pressure-built frustrations at some point!

News anyone?

Headline: One injured in gun battle
Verdict: This is actually front page material in Nebraska! They are so starved for REAL news events.. well.. move to New Orleans where some Murders and Rapes don't even make the LAST page.

Headline: Proposed Downtown Lofts For Homeless Upsetting Neighbors
Verdict: Problem solves itself as they would not be homeless people anymore once they move into the lofts.

Headline: Girl hit by car on way to grandmother's
Verdict: Looks like the big bad wolf got himself bitchin, pimped-out Cadillac!

Headline: Fake Cops Taking Guns, Money From Seniors
Verdict: Real cops find themselves in the wrong business.

Headline: Police find body during search for suspect
Verdict: What did they exect to find?

Headline: Vatican: Pope's Condition Grave
Verdict: Is "Grave" really appropriate? I'm offended and shocked! Pope's Condition Creamy! Now that's more like it! Sad truth is.. you know that CNN has had that John Paul II Obituary ready and waiting for YEARS in standby! The web guru's at CNN are probably salvating with anticipation to drop that link onto the frontpage! Well.. your day will come... possibly sooner than later.

Have a good weekend!! Kill someone! Steal some furniture! Start a neighborhood orgy! In any case, have fun.

Posted by Reese at April 1, 2005 9:44 AM