April 11, 2005

Spicolli Presents: News... of the World

Kerry Says Trickery Foiled Many Voters. He said this after a gang of kids and their dog took off his rubber mask and revealed him to actually be Mr. Henchley, the custodian of a dilapidated local mansion.

Bush's U.N. nominee ready for tough hearing. I think this is unfair. I think that it is wonderful that if a children's entertainer like Captain Kangaroo can climb the diplomatic ladder, this is exemplary of our egalitarian system of government. What you say he's not Captain Kangaroo? Never mind. OR...

When asked what he meant when he said "Cuba has WMD," Bolton grew agitated. "Can't you people take a joke?"

Abuse protest planned at Rome Mass. This was bound to happen. It's a small world with half the American press in Rome covering the Vatican. Senior producer for CNN wanders into Santa Maria Maggiore. He sees the Cardinal celebrating the mass. "Hey aren't you that guy who kept moving child-molesting priests all over New England?" Cardinal: "Umm." Producer:"Gosh, I really should have done some follow up on that story."

Prince Charles marries Camilla. Ah those crazy kids. Two divorcee's who had cheated on their spouses for thirty years. The two princes wrote "Charles and Camilla" on the Royal Bentley. It's somewhat like a Springer episode with more money.

Public schools wooing home-schooled students. See if they'd explained to me that the whole 'teaching-creation-as-science' thing was part of a scheme to get home schooled kids to a public school, I might not have been so hostile.

Posted by Spicolli' at April 11, 2005 8:21 AM