May 31, 2005

Spicolli on Regis and Kelly and Conan

jamesspader-regis1.jpe
jamesspader-regis3.jpe

int-conan-chimp3.jpg

int-conan-chimp4.jpg

Posted by Spicolli' at 4:09 PM

Chancellor Cheney

AngerChaney.jpg

Posted by Reese at 9:55 AM

May 28, 2005

'Green Acres' star Eddie Albert dies!

It's a damn shame when a 99 year old celebrity slips through the cracks of our Death Pool!

Spicolli will be kicking himself in the ass for passing this entry up!

Posted by Reese at 10:06 AM | Comments (1)

Paris Commerical - By Byron (Guest Writer)

Paris.jpg
It's amazing what a little of daddy's money & a surgeon can do!

Paris Commercial

The Hoopla

Commentary:

Hey Paris, you want to play with suds and display yourself for a LOCAL commercial (which probably paid next to nothing) go ahead, I could care less – But to disrespect a Bentley like that is simply inexcusable.

Personally, if Paris Hilton, who in my opinion sucks in the looks department, or even a good and HOT woman was washing my $200K+ Bentley and started rubbing on herself and climbing on it while scratching the hood with her heels, I would tell that bitch to get the fuck off and go clean a ’96 Geo or KIA at best.

But that’s just my opinion...

Byron

Posted by Reese at 9:57 AM

May 26, 2005

Good is relative to ones point of view...

So I got to see Star Wars Episode 3 Wednesday. It was the first time I've ever seen a Star Wars film in the theater, and the last one it was (so far?). I must say that just as "Return of the Jedi" seems to be the best of the initial series of 3, this one is the climactic best of the second series of three. Loose ends were tied up a bit. Now, I'm not a Star Wars nerd in the sense that I can imagine living inside of this sci-fi psuedouniverse as well as some, but I did notice some things that made me wonder. Why did Luke and Leia talk about remembering their mother in episode 6 when we clearly see that the mother died right after they were born in episode 3? Why is it that in Episode 4, R2D2 is looking for his former master (obi-wan) and in none of the first 3 episodes is he shown to be the owner of R2D2 (not to mention his memory is erased in Episode 3). Just a couple of things you notice without trying to. There may have been more, but I don't remember them. All that matters is it was a great flick and one of the best action & storied plots I've watched in quite some time.

It was kind of ironic that the political scare tactics used to get the Supreme Chancellor ultimate power over the senate destroyed a democracy in the Star Wars universe just as the terrorist scare tactics are being used by our government to castrate our freedoms and control the public more, right here in the real world U.S.A. that you and I live in.

CORRECTION: Apparently, from the comment I have realized that it was only the protocol droid (C3PO) who's memory was erased. Still, some other good points are brought up regarding Obi-Wan not remembering Luke's sister. Oh well... I shouldn't let a movie series's continuity problems make the nerd come out in me! Another point brought up was that my brother recalls me and him and my parents seeing Star Wars at the dollar theater in 1979, but being that I was 2 or 3, I don't remember, so forgive me!

Posted by Reese at 1:10 PM | Comments (2)

May 20, 2005

The World in Brief

Saddamm.jpg
Caught with his pants down, an adamant Saddam still insists that he's a boxers man.


bob_enzyte_guy.jpg
Untold side-effect has "Enzyte Bob" scheduling to have smile surgically removed.

Posted by Reese at 12:02 PM

May 18, 2005

Last Quiz for a while

You scored as Materialist. Materialism stresses the essence of fundamental particles. Everything that exists is purely physical matter and there is no special force that holds life together. You believe that anything can be explained by breaking it up into its pieces. i.e. the big picture can be understood by its smaller elements.

Materialist

94%

Modernist

63%

Existentialist

63%

Postmodernist

50%

Cultural Creative

50%

Romanticist

50%

Fundamentalist

25%

Idealist

6%

What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
created with QuizFarm.com
Posted by Spicolli' at 11:05 AM

Dream

Last night i had a dream. I was at some party or function at someone's house. I remember someone asking me for tweezers in a crowd. I went outside looking for Jess and somehow found my friends Kenny and Cyrille getting ready to watch something on the big screen, probably the new Star Wars movie. Next thing I know, I was being chased by a gang of guys shooting at me.. I try to run, but it's hard to run in dreams, I run through a field and past an opening in a stone wall, but eventually I am caught.. dream over. Funny how the mind works. I can actually see how some of the visions came to me. I was asked for tweezers a couple of days ago (and no, I wasn't playing Operation!). Cy invited me to go with him and Ken to see the new Star Wars movie this Saturday (with a detour to Ponchos Mexican Buffet beforehand). Sometimes I dream of nukes going off, which to me probably symbolizes how I truly believe that the US is destroying itself. That America is losing it's luster daily. And how it just doesn't seem as "great" as I was taught that it was back in elementary and middle school. Dreams are probably nothing more than random thoughts being filed away while you sleep, but they do have meaning sometimes and it's more of a reflection than a prediction.

Posted by Reese at 9:27 AM

May 17, 2005

How totally hipster are you?


Via Rox Populi. I'd have put my Star Wars character, but it was too unspeakable.

Posted by Spicolli' at 12:35 PM

May 16, 2005

Good Morning.. won't you be my neighbor?

Headline: 3 Die In Overnight House Fire
Verdict: Guess it's true, the house always wins!

Headline: Critics want to snuff sweet smokes - Lawmakers say flavored cigarettes target young smokers
Verdict: Who elects these assholes? I suppose this stereotype-like logic would mean that nature invented the sweet potato to target younger lifeforms? A nasty tobacco flavored cigarette is just fine, however add a little sugar to it, and it becomes wrong. I'd like to hear some congressman explain the TRUE reasoning behind this logic. Who's to say that an adult can't have a sweet tooth... apparently they do, or the market for these flavored cigarettes wouldn't exist. And what's the fucking moral difference between a sweet substance that is illegal if you're under 18 and a sweet tasting wine cooler that's illegal if your under 21!!!??! If congress has a problem with smoking teens, then that has already been taken care already, just enforce the laws already in place, assholes. This micromanagement fit that congress has been on lately is reminiscent of a type of government that I kinda remember, oh what was it called.. oh yeah, COMMUNISM?

So how does such a travesty get started? Maybe it goes something like this: A few congressmen walk into a convenience store, after a hard day of deciding what's best for keeping the public at bay. Tom Ridge suddenly peers over the counter and spots a pack of twinkies and says to himself, "My god! These fatty snacks are targeting children and they're on SALE!! Better get on the horn to Tom Davis on this one, something must be done!!!" Maybe if they were cigarette flavored twinkies, it'd be just fine. How about some ass flavored dental floss.. is that OK or would it target hygienic individuals to become hygienic homosexuals?

Posted by Reese at 10:21 AM

Fickle Finger or Strange Coincidence?

So it was Saturday the 14th, and it was a complete, long, and filling day. I ate breakfast at Piccadilly, got a haircut, changed the oil, oil filter, air filter, and a couple of spark plugs (the other 2 I couldn't reach) on the Tempo, played some basketball for two hours, and then headed out to Biloxi en route to see George Carlin. Me and Jess arrived at Ruby Tuesdays on highway 90 as it was around 5PM and we were hungry. Long story short, Angie, my ex fiance, was there as Jessica spotted her from the side of our booth. After several minutes, she came over and said hi and started to engage in small talk, like nothing ever happened. It was about a year and a half ago that we last spoke to each other and at that time she probably wanted to kill me...for I broke off our wedding engagement two months beforehand... it was all for the best though, as I said before, no good man would ever marry her unless he was a submissive pussy who caters to selfish materialistic biotches or retarded (Actually, retards probably have more class, sorry guys!). I feel so damn ashamed and dumb every time I think of the countless days I wasted in my life with her. Yes, I am to blame for being blinded. I am to blame for allowing it to go so long, but my mentality was one of two things. One, I was kinda tired of looking for a great girl as it seems I've just had bad luck. Secondly, I took a leap of faith and actually believed that I could have the type of relationship I wanted if I just worked at it. I was so fucking wrong and I was so fucking miserable. Not only did we have nothing in common, but she wasn't even on the same intellectual level was I was. I had to dumb things down and there was no way we could talk about politics or technology. "American Idol" was as high brow as the conversation got. Yep, I'm a much different man than the one she remembers, but even more importantly, I'm more like the guy I was before I met her. In no relationship should you ever feel like you lose a part of yourself. Now make no mistake about it, her visit to my table was a calculated one... she and her friend, Michelle probably contemplated the decision for a few minutes, then she came by so she could feel brave and get some kind of "closure" by telling me that she lives in Metairie and her husband, Derrek works at Entergy (However, being that he was working on a Saturday night, probably means that he isn't CEO or anything) ... How she's happier than she's ever been and thanking me for dumping her fat ass. Of course, I could have replied many things to that statement of self-promotion.. such as "Yeah, I should have done that shit on week one!" or "Any man with good sense would have done the same!" or "Cool, you can thank me by giving me my ring back."... I could have mentioned how much more successful, happy, and healthy I am since I left her. How I bought a house and took trips and had a grand time....but I kept it civil and just let it go.. what's the point? She pretty meaningless in my life ... hell, I didn't even gain anything from that relationship besides having another hole to occupy my dick with for a while...and she wasn't even good at THAT. I lost big.. losing time, money, and almost myself. Truth be told, her whole family is pretty fucked up. Her mom seems perfectly healthy. She's so compulsive, she's cleaning the house constantly. Putting in hard hours, yet she claims she cannot work. She even tried to get disability just like her son has, but it was luckily denied. Now, I'm not a chiropractor or doctor, but I do know that when I see people doing intense housework for hours at a time, that they could be viable in the workforce. People like that are just a couple of reasons why our social security isn't going to work. Every time I read the amount of money taken off of my check to support lazy trash (not the legitimate unfortunate people), I get pissed off and depressed at the same time. The system is the one to blame, I suppose. They make it easier for a "If I don't have to work, then why should I?" mentality breed ideas on how to get around doing actual labor to earn their income. I'm not perfect, but cancelling that wedding was the best decision I've ever made.

Enough about me...

George Carlin, the focal point of the evening, was great. He had written material he was using to refresh his memory as he presented it and practiced it for his HBO special coming up in a few months. He had a great piece and running gag on suicide along with great points, thoughts, and such all presented in a humorous way. The political stuff was great, but it got me depressed a little, because it's so true. I find that the way I think and view life is strangely parallel with the what George says. The guest comedian he had on beforehand was OK, but a completely different style. In all, I got to see my comedic idol, a true icon and creative funny man.

Posted by Reese at 8:40 AM

May 13, 2005

Funny World

I laugh at all of the lawmakers trying to rescue their military bases from getting the axe. Greed rears it's ugly little head hardcore as each state finds that there's not enough soup to fill all of the soup bowls. Apparently, many lawmakers were under the disillusion that they're particular state had nothing to fear. Just like the WMD fiasco, more bad intelligence has put egg on their faces. Welcome to the Bush administration... I have to say that I have mad respect on the fact that the administration is not only screwing public citizens, but also politicians. At a time of supposed heightened terror alert statuses, why are we dismantling our domestic defenses? If it's a slap on the face for the thousands of soldier and Iraqi deaths caused by a war put into motion from questionably wrong intelligence, then this reduction in military is surely the icing on the cake. Now some communities are on the short end of the shit stick in relying on these military installations for economic stability. That's life, I suppose. I hope that in three years we can start rebuilding America, but that depends on too many factors to illicit any real hope from this normally optimistic soul.

Posted by Reese at 2:43 PM

May 11, 2005

Why is everyone on drugs except me?

As I pull up to the red light ever so slowly, I notice that the fringe FM station I am listening to is starting to fade away, so I inch up toward the car in front of me getting dangerously close until the signal becomes strong enough for me to enjoy the music playing. Sometimes, if you like a song enough, you'll listen to it loyally while barely being able to clearly make it out through the static fuzz. I find myself going through psychological episodes each time I step behind the wheel of my 2000 Ford Focus. The term "road rage" only describes the later stages of driving aggravation, however there are many stages in between.. it's a sliding scale of emotions you go through. It's also hard to logically reason with yourself that this is the system and no system is perfect.. why? Because you are at the mercy of strangers when you drive. The system caters to all, and that includes the slow drivers, bad drivers, insane drivers, and just about any type or combination of drivers that can exist. It's just another example of a moment when life truly has you by the balls and there's no solution. So you go with it, and just accept the way things are. If you do not do this crucial step of acceptance or tolerance, you are probably just causing more stress upon yourself, right? Of course, life has enough stressful content to fill your wanting needs. I was reading about global warming a few minutes ago and thought to myself that it's a good thing that I won't live forever, because seeing humanity completely destroy itself would be harder to bare than the daily disappointing allotment of news articles that the media provides already. What's the point to my entry? Um... try not to give a shit if you don't have to and can't do anything about it anyway... how's that?

Posted by Reese at 8:07 AM

May 10, 2005

Car Hunt: results and non-hangover

After I talked to my dad I spent that Monday at work reading Consumer Reports and the local auto shopper. I stayed in constant contact with the insurance agent, since car insurance in the New Orleans area is an expensive farce. On that day I found a used red Corolla that I liked very much in my price range. I probably waited too long on that one. On this lot though I met the guy who I'd eventually buy from, the indefatigable Samuel.

So I spend three hours on the lot, mostly waiting, while Samuel confers with the math guys in the back. I tell him I can't do more than 250. He shows me a white Corolla that's had the windshield replaced and has to have backseat seat belts put in. I think about it. I talk to the other guy. He had a Kia with a 5 y./100k warranty extant, and 28k miles. I talk to Samuel again, we do some paperwork, and it turns out I need proof of insurance before going forward.

I like the idea of the warranty and the Kia was cheap. So I signed on for that. I had to tell Samuel that I was going for something else and on the phone it sounded like he was about to cry. Anyway, less than eight hours later when I went to get my down payment check back from Samuel the check engine light came on in the Kia. Although the warranty would have covered it and I don't believe in such things, this was a sign from God. I went back to the rental place returned the car, paid the 200 dollar return fee and went back to Sammy. There were tears and apologies and I heard all about the finance guy's wife's hysterectomy and sealed the deal.

So less than a week on Prozac and I've got a persistent headache, a car, a TV (you know while I'm at it), I'm not depressed so much as very worried about money. I look at the Guinness in my fridge and think if I have one, I'll be on the slippery slope back to using shank's pony.

Posted by Spicolli' at 10:56 AM

Louisiana = Georgie Porgie (Makes 'em want to cry!)

Welcome back! Been a long time with no posts to show for it. Guess we've been lazy. Lazy springtime days down here in Louisiana. Mosquitos as big as a watermelon and roadkill filling in the potholes for a squishy hole that will not only spread animal guts onto your wheel well, but also throw your car out of alignment. That's the south. Corrupt politics... shitty roads (and too few of them too!)... it's the kind of place where a Janitor for the Orleans Parish School Board can make 70K+ a year cleaning up the worst schools in the state. It's the kind of place where a so called "sin" tax is proposed to raise money for Teacher pay.. that's right... higher taxes on alchohol, cigarettes, and gambling.. laws that defy all logic while promoting completely biased and discriminatory injustices. That's Louisiana.. just 1/50th of the complete puzzling and problem filled world of America.

Headline: Nagin Proposes City Takeover Of 20 Schools
Verdict: I thought that the city WAS running the schools? I suppose when a school board fails so horribly, you just cut out the middle man and take the shit over. The problem with inner city kids is numerous. First, you have the family and parents influence. Then you have peers and friends influence. Those two things you really can't fix, but the teacher and school influence you can. If there is any hope that will give these kids a better chance in the cruel world of real life, it's going to have to start at the school level. Kudos to Nagin for not letting this slide. It probably should have happened decades ago.

Headline: House Panel OKs Blanco's Cigarette Tax Proposal
Verdict: I dislike Blanco as it is. I'm not even sure how she got to be governor when her opponent, Jindal, was obviously more intelligent, more prepared, and logical. He was OBVIOUSLY the better choice, but thanks to small town minded prejudices combined with easily swayed sheep-like people (or sheeple), twas not meant to be. Now cut off the head and rest will fall, right? Wrong! The checks and balances don't work the way our forefather's thoguht it would.. not if they are as bad as the head. The whole system just fails and a completely illogical law can be passed even without popular approval. This Cigarette Tax is ludicris. I'm not a smoker nor shall I ever be one, but this is not only unfair to smokers but also the retailers who sell them. Why are they being unfairly targeted for the budgeting problems that the state can't seem to fix? It's pretty sick, but reality is just that... sickening sometimes. So Louisiana... you had the power to stop the madness, but you let the bitch in.. you get what you deserve.

Headline: City Planning Commission To Vote On Hotel Additions
Verdict: I have to admit that I'm against a planning commission even having to vote on hotel additions. I believe that if you own the property, you can do as you wish with it, historic or not. The government has too much influence where it shouldn't and this usually if not always impedes progress.

Now for National News Crapola:

Headline: U.S. to pay for emergency care for illegal aliens
Verdict: Now, I can see how this probably came about. Hospitals are kinda bound to an oath of some sort to help the sick and also it's a bad public relations move to let someone die... with that, they bitched to the government on losing money by helping illegal aliens.. solution? Let ole Uncle Sam, also known as the US taxpayer, take care of the bill. The two wrongs do not make a right.. do they really ever make one? Basically, this quick fix "solution" tells me that if *I* have an emergency and no insurance then I'll be put so far in debt that my grandkids will feel it.. unless of course, if I denounce my US Citizenship beforehand.. then all is candy apples and sugar, right? Humanity aside, why are we the only country that seems to put the needs non-domestic citizens ahead of it's own?

Headline: FBI: Swiss hacker infiltrated U.S. computers
Verdict: I like to hear stories like this. The government computer systems get hacked by someone outside the US's grasp. What to do? Well.. they should probably do something to fix their servers. The internet is public and if this was MY government, I'd probably come up with some proprietary security measures to ensure the safety of my network if I plan on using a PUBLIC medium in which to transfer data. Blame the hackers all you want, they are just exploiting flaws in the system.. microsoft flaws and otherwise. Good thing they exist or people would have a seroius illusion about the safetey of their networks.

Headline: Bush: Georgia 'beacon of liberty'
Verdict: And Bush said to the crowd that the former Soviet republic of Georgia is proving to the world that determined people can rise up and claim their freedom from oppressive rulers. Well, here's a man so blind by he and his cronies' agenda that he is completely oblivious to the irony of him being an oppressive ruler himself.. doing what he deems fit without consequence or public approval. Way to go hyporcite!

Headline: Jesus Christ in legal battle to get license
Verdict: Of course this article isn't talking about that famed historical figure named Jesus, however the news media thinks it'll grab your attention to write up the headline as so... that's what they do... make headlines worded in such ways that the story seems bigger, better, or scarier than it really is. It's called propaganda and spin.. the government does it all of the time along with businesses and the media. This man who changed his name to Jesus Christ loves his alleged lord and savior. However, the supposed church and state separated government seems to find ways to make a big deal out of two little words which doesn't mean anything to some citizens at all. Being offensive is a judgement call that no judge should be making a ruling using it as a reason NOR should it even matter as being offensive is completely relative speculation. The judge even goes so far as to say that he "believes" it will promote violence. Toward whom?? Jesus Christ?? If I thought my name change would make people violent toward me, then that's my risk to be had. I don't believe this guy's views on religion, but I do believe in his rights... and anyone who doesn't see how silly and wrong our goverment can be, then they are just as blind and ignorant.

Headline: No Muslim holidays on new school calendar
Verdict: I've said it once before.. when it comes to goverment, which includes public school systems, the only way to NOT OFFEND ANYONE is to CATER TO NO ONE! Eliminate religious recognition from all publicly funded institutions.

Now for some fun:

Headline: Figherfighters help sleeping family escape
Verdict: Aftewards, a sealy posturpedic helped the escaping family sleep.

Headline: Ex-weather chief talks about life in prison
Verdict: He told a reporter that there was a 35% chance of getting an ass pounding with highs in the upper 9's!

Posted by Reese at 9:36 AM

May 3, 2005

Jerk Jerk my man!

Last night I was thinking. As a kid, well a while back, I'd wank the crank and sometimes, maybe thanks to my catholic type upbringing, I'd have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that some recently dead relative was watching me. As I grew into adulthood, I assumed that my recently dead acnestors were perverts for being so voyeuristic. With that said, here's the news:

Headline: Jury hears Jackson's phone records
Verdict: Jury claims that the calls (tracks) 4 and 7 could be great radio singles, but that the rest were just album fillers. Also, track 11, "I fucked your grandson with a removable nose" could be detrimental to the defense.

Headline: Runaway bride's story perplexes authorities
Verdict: Some say that she's pretty damn crazy. And some say that he's even worse for staying with the broad. I say you have look at the bigger picture. It's Georgia, people.. where famlily values are high and a cousin's bond is like blood, which is thicker than water.

Headline: Man Describes Alleged Abuse By Priest
Verdict: An Exerpt: ...and then Father Kenkel lifted his silky robe and started to unbuckle my pants. I was without underwear on and he easily freed my cock. He squeezed some KY in his big hand then reached under me. I was half laying in an over stuffed lounge chair. He shuffled up and I felt my little ass come in contact with his holy throbbing dick. He looked me in the eye and pressed my little manpussy against his cock. I felt it start to penetrate. The look on my round little freckled face became intense in what looked like a little pain. His dick slipped past my tight little opening...

Headline: Man survives wreck, is killed by power line
Verdict: Sounds like a Wiley Coyote stunt... surviving the fall off of a cliff only to be killed by the boulder that followed!

Headline: Stalking Victim Wants Tougher Laws
Verdict: Not if the Stalker Lobbyist have anything to say about it!

Headline: Broken gas main rocks neighborhood
Verdict: Def Leopard was said to have opened up for the broken gas main. So sad...talk about your career plunge.

Posted by Reese at 8:59 AM

May 2, 2005

Car Hunting Adventure

I've just spent four hours give or take calling dealerships, checking Consumer Reports and doing insurance quotes. It is amazing how when I only had a little money to spend on a car, I was basically going to muddle through and get it done somehow, now I have a bit more money and I'm freaking out how to spend as little of it as possible.

Here's what happened. On Saturday I got some insurance quotes to have in the back of my mind. I haven't had a car in two years and that raises rates. Shortly after Reese and Jessica picked me up and we went to a rental place recommended to me by a valet I met at the bus stop. I pointed out my two-year old bankruptcy to the salesman and he did some numbers on an '03 Lancer. The salesman mentioned that my credit isn't that bad for a guy who has been bankrupt. I thanked him and mentioned that I had been working on it. The hangover I was experiencing on Friday lingering on as a lack of appetite and an aversion to bright light. Jessica became the first person to spot the hickey. Ten minutes or so I was approved on this car. I filled out more paperwork, I could pick it up as soon as Tuesday if I wrote up a reference list, brought in a phone bill and had proof of insurance. Alrighty then.

By the time I got into Reese's backseat I was re-thinking budget. Based on the dentist's prognosis, the cost of insurance and the price of payments, I felt I was not actually in the Ramen Noodle zone yet. That is as long as I cut back on eating out and lay off the beer, which in the mounting seasickness of that Saturday's Metairie traffic sounded not unreasonable.

We ate at a Greek restaurant. I mentioned my concerns. I guess I failed to say that it was more of a cashflow problem to get the ball rolling than a systemic budget problem. Jessica offered to give me some of her food stamps and I felt very wierd. I packed up the other half of my gyro and Reese and Jessica dropped me off at home.

I called my Dad to lay out the car plans with him. He didn't like them. He thought I was getting screwed. The interest was too high, the insurance was too high, the car was too Japanese and I needed a bigger engine to go up hills. "You should be able to Jew'em down on that a little.... I'll give you more money to use for a down payment, that should help you get the rate down... and you don't have a trade in, tell them that and see how much they'll knock down for that." Yes my Dad did just use 'Jew' as a verb, sorry. Also, he worried about the 401k loan I did to get the money in the first place.

So he's sending a lot of money. Which brings me back to the top of the post. The front runner is an '01 Corolla with 51,000 miles. This only because the one of the guys at the insurance company told me it was better than the other prospects I had run up his flagpole. It also had one of the lowest insurance quotes. I took my old down payment from the 401k money and used it to improve my debt-income ratio. I know it's a loan too, but it's not reported, at leaast I'm not seeing it on the reports, so it doesn't exist.

Posted by Spicolli' at 4:34 PM

Stay Tuned!

Our post this past week have been minimal at best. So what's the deal you ask? Well.. being that this is ONE of those minimal posts... I suppose I'll end it now, leaving you in such suspense, you'll wiz on yourself!

Posted by Reese at 4:07 PM