May 3, 2005

Jerk Jerk my man!

Last night I was thinking. As a kid, well a while back, I'd wank the crank and sometimes, maybe thanks to my catholic type upbringing, I'd have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that some recently dead relative was watching me. As I grew into adulthood, I assumed that my recently dead acnestors were perverts for being so voyeuristic. With that said, here's the news:

Headline: Jury hears Jackson's phone records
Verdict: Jury claims that the calls (tracks) 4 and 7 could be great radio singles, but that the rest were just album fillers. Also, track 11, "I fucked your grandson with a removable nose" could be detrimental to the defense.

Headline: Runaway bride's story perplexes authorities
Verdict: Some say that she's pretty damn crazy. And some say that he's even worse for staying with the broad. I say you have look at the bigger picture. It's Georgia, people.. where famlily values are high and a cousin's bond is like blood, which is thicker than water.

Headline: Man Describes Alleged Abuse By Priest
Verdict: An Exerpt: ...and then Father Kenkel lifted his silky robe and started to unbuckle my pants. I was without underwear on and he easily freed my cock. He squeezed some KY in his big hand then reached under me. I was half laying in an over stuffed lounge chair. He shuffled up and I felt my little ass come in contact with his holy throbbing dick. He looked me in the eye and pressed my little manpussy against his cock. I felt it start to penetrate. The look on my round little freckled face became intense in what looked like a little pain. His dick slipped past my tight little opening...

Headline: Man survives wreck, is killed by power line
Verdict: Sounds like a Wiley Coyote stunt... surviving the fall off of a cliff only to be killed by the boulder that followed!

Headline: Stalking Victim Wants Tougher Laws
Verdict: Not if the Stalker Lobbyist have anything to say about it!

Headline: Broken gas main rocks neighborhood
Verdict: Def Leopard was said to have opened up for the broken gas main. So about your career plunge.

Posted by Reese at May 3, 2005 8:59 AM