June 15, 2005

NEWS FLASH!!!!!

So what IS the big fucking news??? And when did Fox News AND CNN transform themselves into the National Enquirer? What is so important that I should pull my pants up and forgo the flush and wipe, head to the couch, and risk staining the cushions with a brown streak of rushed panic? Well.. Of course the big news (as far as the media is concerned) is not tropical storm Arlene that swept throught the Florida panhandle last week... it's not the "war" in Iraq drawing more troop injuries and deaths via suicide bombs and the usual mischief... it's not even that story about all of the Federal help that one missing girl in a foreign country is getting for showing up missing (I'd like to believe that *YOU* or *I* would get the same treatment of FBI agents and search parties combing the beaches of Aruba if we happen to come up missing, but probably not. Was her family rich or politically involved? Hmmm, I wonder....), nope, it was Michael Jackson. Big news! So big, they interrupted countless broadcast to show you the verdict! You see NEWS FLASH! thrown accross your TV set and think that someone finally nuked a US city or maybe an earthquake dropped California into the ocean... but no, it was just a has-been "celebrity" and their molestation trial who's verdict was so important that it could impact the lives is billions of people, right? I tell you what, as weird as the "King of Pop" may be prejudged to be, he's not nearly the monster that many priests and ministers have been and still are.

Not that I'm on the bandwagon of caring the least bit about it, but new Terry Schiavo Autopsy evidence claims that her brain was half the size of a normal human.. that she was blind and had irreversable damage. There was also no evidence that she was abused, except by the media frenzy, of course. This newly found info sure is egg in the face of every politician (not just the ones named George and Jeb, either!), Jesse Jackson, and even the doctors who gave as credible information as the US intelligence had on Iraq's WMDs, ALL claiming that her condition was improvable or even reversable! Is it really too far fetched to believe that people who are supposed to be credible and entrusted by the public will make up blatant lies to support their cause? Wake up, America. I believe it is YOU who are in the persistant vegitative state!

Philip Cooney, formerly the chief of staff of its Council on Environmental Quality resigned over the weekend. He's best known for his portrail of King Tut in "The Chosen One", the pop 1986 dance hit "Burning Love Machine", and, oh yeah.. for editing of government reports on climate change! Another great example of desperate politics. When the facts aren't in your favor, change them to suite your agenda, right? Now he's gone to work for Exxon... and since this is probably not a good PR move, I'll just say that we should try to ween off of oil and gas as a nation over time... and since it will most obviously be a slow process, nothing wrong with starting somewhere.. I suggest Exxon Gas. Don't buy it, period. Boycotts are supposed to be the consumer's way of handling unpopular business issues, so I support them 100%. I support them over a government handling of any issue any day.

Good Call! Ford was found not to be liable in trooper death. So a man in a big truck slams into the back of a Ford Crown Victoria and a fire ensues. Let's examine the evidence... gas was present, energy from the momentum of the colliding metal was present, and sparks were very possibly present... hmm.. seems to me that those elements could happen to anyone in any vehicle at any time... nice try on getting Ford to fork over some neglegent cash, but it's not their fault. It's not like they build cars with gas tanks made out of flint. Now don't think that I'm on the Ford bandwagon, I tell people all of the time that my 2000 Ford Focus is a bonafied piece of shit with countless recalls and warranty repair visits than I can count on two sets of hands. Here's another example of a truck that burst into flames after falling off of a bridge... or maybe they should sue the city for not having soft enough ground?

Another example of some of the reason that America is slipping and slipping hard: Principal urges teachers to pass failing students. In California, Saddleback High School Principal Esther Jones sent teachers a memo asking them to kindly reconsider the grades of 98 students, saying "please review your records for these students and determine if they would merit a grade of 'D' instead of a failure." Fudging the grades for these failing seniors would help the school meet federal (95 percent graduation) requirements under the No Child Left Behind law. Now, I don't care what your political background, race, sex, or political affiliation is... doesn't this sound just plain wrong? Back in MY day (circa 1994), I remember having to earn my diploma by actually knowing the minimal requirements to pass the 12th grade and LEAP test. I remember these minimal requirements not being so difficult, and if the whole reason that we are forced to be educated as children is so that our goverment can ensure that we have a society that won't revert back into the dark ages, then why are we shooting ourselves in the foot? The school must present the material, but they are never 100% liable for a failing student. And no one should expect a perfect system either. Something must be done where travesties like this can be eliminated.

John Madden scrambles to NBC. Not that I really care, but I do think that it's funny how a network executive, such as the ones at NBC obviously, believe that people who like to watch NFL football will switch channels to see John Madden vs. Any Old Schmuck. He doesn't sell football to viewers, it sells itself! Even with THAT said, John Madden doesn't bring anything to the table. If dimentia hasn't set in, it's SETTING in. Now I used to love playing John Madden football on my Sega Genesis back in the mid 90's, but let's be honest, it's been downhill since! He's had nothing to offer commentary broadcasting for years now. He's racked enough airtime chock full of played out NFL cliche's that you could replace him with a Max Headroom type digital replica and no one would be the wiser! Hell, the digital Madden would probably have twice as much charisma to boot!

Posted by Reese at June 15, 2005 1:09 PM