December 28, 2005

Sorry 2006, but we've got baggage.

Yes.. this blog thingy has been going on for about a year now. I want to make my entry here a solemn pledge to produce quality material for the site.. a podcast... or whatever. To make a true and convincing effort to write comedy in it's varying forms. I was told over the weekend how funny I was.. I was just going on about things.. babies, life, placentas, subway, fish guts...pulling it out of thin air... and it worked. I've created routines and such in my mind many times over, but have failed to write it down. Sometimes I re-read some of the things I've written this year on here.. and am glad I'm keeping some kind of quasi-journal about the things going on in my head. I've told Spicolli this and if anything, it's my New Year's resolution. A tradition based on hope is as real and worth doing as anything.

What's New?
I saw Sling Blade for the first time this past week. I find that I still favor Forrest Gump in the category of people caught somewhere between mental retardation, inbreeding, and just being uneducated. Candidates include Forrest Gump, Karl Childers (Sling Blade), Bobby Bouchet (The Waterboy), Buddy (Elf), John Coffey (The Green Mile), Sloth (Goonies), Dumb & Dumber, Mongo (Blazing Saddles), and Tom Joad (Grapes of Wrath)... all of whom would make a better president than the one we've got. (Sorry, RainMan isn't in the running!) I'm probably forgetting many.. but what can be said that Americans love idiots, and elect them annually. It's like voters all have Florence Nightingale syndrome. Now I call most people that defy logic in a stupid manner a fucktard. My brother used to use that phrase all of the time, but I've defined it myself. Retarded individuals or mentally handicapped (challenged?) people are usually found making the most of their abilities.. maximizing potential and trying as hard as a person can to manage a world of challenges. These people don't have much choice in being in their situation, whereas a fucktard CHOOSES the path of less mentality... and I do not feel sorry for them.

Posted by Reese at 9:57 AM

December 16, 2005

Truths, Lies, and Wasted Time!

It's been a long time since I've had a nice long rant. It's like the dam bursts and I just empty my chest of thoughts and angst. Without further ado...

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Wasted Time!
In the completes waste of time and taxpayer money department, there's always an entry somewhere that could be posted. I mean, if we really added up all of the truly wasted time and money spent by our government officials, who knows how much we'd have in the reserves. With that said, Congresswoman Jo Ann Davis (R-Virginia ... you may remember her as the woman who introduced a resolution to keep "In God We Trust" as our national motto) has spent serious time whipping up House Resolution 579. It's purpose is to express the sense of Congress that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected, and that references to Christmas should be supported. This measure, which is non-binding and does not carry the force of law, simply states Congressional support for traditional references to Christmas that are being eradicated from the public dialogue. Ok.. first of all, it doesn't really do anything. Secondly, it doesn't recognize the separation of church and state whatsoever. Do these people fail to realize that not all Americans believe in Christmas (and what christmas stands for) and therefore shouldn't be shown a government that's biased to one particular belief? The government should always stand neutral on issues of faith and let the people celebrate in their own way. Now, if this is an issue on historical tradition, and it's something the people really want around them, then something as big as Christmas should surely not NEED federal help in order to exist prominently, right? People like this woman are clearly closed-minded, self righteous, ignorant, and definitely bad for America and the ideal freedoms we deserve.

Another big waste of time and money were the congressional hearings starring Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans and Governor Kathleen "Blank" Blanco of Louisiana. Some of the questions could have been answered with a simple google search, some were more political ridicule than substantial, and others just didn't hit the mark on finding a solution for making sure that the right decisions are made next time a disaster hits the USA.


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Truths!
Only the truth shall set you free! Telling all and keeping promises are making George Bush look like a different guy nowadays. It's almost as if he was visited by three ghosts (the ghosts of Presidents past, present, and future) the other night and has changed some of his humbug ways. I bet republicans want to strangle him right now for admitting that we went to war based upon faulty intelligence. At least he claimed that the responsibility was all on him. He's also had a change of heart on the issue of torture by agreeing with Senator John McCain (Arizona) by banning it. He's made good on his promise to rebuild New Orleans levees by pledging 3.1 Billion dollars for the fortification effort. Hell, he's even apologized and come clean on a 45 year old secret of peeing in the pool at Kennebunkport and blaming it on Jeb to his dad. The man's really trying to clean the slate. He doesn't seem to deny authorizing a secret order giving the NSA the right to spy and eavesdrop on Americans 3 years ago, either. More good news, although not Bush's doings, was the blow to the Patriot Act re-authorization by the Senate today. News like this sure brings hope that civil liberties just may survive this administration after all. Thank you Mr. Russ Feingold (and allies to the cause).


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Lies!
Ah, the mixed up world of the NFL. Where old and not-so-sharp-anymore rich guys can have all the fun hiring and firing and basically playing fantasy football minus the fantasy part. Tom Benson, owner of the New Orleans Saints, seems to really hate New Orleans and loves San Antonio. Good thing the NFL has a commissioner who doesn't share his affinity for change. Benson has made some questionable business decisions along the way as well. He's pretty much threatened to move the Saints immediately after the storm, which only pisses fans off to not spend money on Saints merchandise or go to the games. All of his in-actions or negative actions could only hurt the bottom line in respect to profit for the Saints this season. Even if he wants to leave, why mention it during the season? If that's not enough, blatant lies should do the trick. Benson told his staff that the training facility in Metairie was still occupied by FEMA and the National Guard and the area was unlivable. (Both complete lies). WWL's Kenny Wilkerson said that many employees had to cover their mouths to keep from laughing at Bensonīs crazy comments. The truth is, that the facility is in pristine condition as confirmed by NFL commissioner Paul tagliabue himself just a week prior to his comments! We all lose a little something as we age. Old people can be pretty shameful and useless sometimes. Give them a lot of money, and that's when their deep-end antics get the spotlight shined upon them. I believe that some of them (no offense) are the fatty deposits that clog the arteries of America. You can see it in their actions, words, and driving skills.. of course. One more comment on rich and older antics... "Marlon Brando reputedly suggested that his cameo role as Jor-El (in 1978's Superman Movie) be done by him in voice over only, with the character's image onscreen being a glowing, levitating green bagel. Unsure if Brando was joking or not, the film's producers formally rejected the suggestion." - As quoted in IMDB. Bottom line, in my opinion, Benson has become Brando-esque.


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Miscellaneous!
P.S. Speaking of brando-esque (physically, that is)... I had forgot to mention that Chalmette and St. Bernard Parish President Henry "Junior" Rodriguez made CNN.Com front page news by crying foul that his citizens were living in "Barns". Way to go, H-Rod! Nice comparison.. did you mention your double-wide "barn" complete with porch and swing? I bet you didn't.

Posted by Reese at 9:03 AM

December 12, 2005

Clinton appears at Ben Folds show.

God, how can you not find this man awesome. stereogum: Ben Folds & Bill Clinton

Posted by Spicolli at 11:11 PM

December 9, 2005

The Playboy

The Playboy
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSMm)

Clean. Smooth. Successful. You're The Playboy.

You're spontaneous, and your energy is highly contagious. Guys therefore find you fun to be around, and girls find you compelling. You have lots of sex, and you manage it all without seeming cheap or being hurtful. Well done. You probably know karate, too.

Your exact opposite:
The Mixed Messenger

Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer
It's obvious to us, and probably everyone else, that you're after physical rather than emotional relationships, but you're straight up with potential partners. And if a guy you want isn't into something casual, it's no big deal. You move on. BEFORE sleeping with him. Usually. At least you try to. Such control is rare.

If you're feeling unfulfilled, maybe you should raise your standards. New conquests will only be satisfying if there's a possibility of rejection.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Mixed Messenger

CONSIDER: The Bachelor, The Poolboy

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: spicolli29

Posted by Spicolli at 4:25 PM

December 5, 2005

My letter to Blanco...

Dear Gov,

It's really shameful that any politician would be more concerned over image than substance. I've always believed that substance was more important, but then again, I never had to worry about my public appearance in order to maintain my job. Mike Brown had the same philosophy and you're no different. I am sure that hundreds of politicians would have done the same if their state was hit with the same disaster, but that doesn't change the facts of what reality held for Louisiana. If you were ever truly concerned about the state of Louisiana, you would have conceded to Jindal in the election. He was obviously the more qualified, intelligent, and more prepared candidate. Thanks to ignorance in the demographics of Louisiana, you somehow made it to the top. Only one direction to go, now, eh Gov? I have one suggestion, though ...how about I roll up my sleeves (while wearing some rough-looking-shoes) and give you the finger.

Sincerely,
Corey M Badeaux

---------------------------------------------------------

Yeah it's not very professional, but then again, who's being the bigger professional around here? No amount of emails could possibly convey the amount of anger brewing in me and thousands of citizens out there. Each day, the clouds lose more and more silver from their linings and the wintery coldness seems to emulate the real-life mood of our gloomy situation. It's not that I want to lay blame, but blame is indeed necessary. The citizens have been shortchanged, before and after the storm by the people they've paid hard-earned tax dollars to protect them. The people never asked for this. They've asked for protection for years, and they the ones suffering the most. Why does it continue? How is it that governmental hypocracy, neglegence, and bickering could hinder progress in rebuilding lives? The people are starving for answers and truth, but are only fed more bullshit and depressing words.

Posted by Reese at 11:30 AM